I don’t want to write this, this year. It’s been very tired one. A lighter one. The last few felt heavier. I kept my secrets up my sleeves.. I am exhausted. Last week took my breath away. Asthma, on the brink of panic attack, periods, exhaustion and now I am going through withdrawal from starchy foods as I switched to complex carbs. But this week is also a satisfying one. I was pushed to my limits and beyond and I won; I am enjoying this aftermath of power. Switching gears. I gave out my email, because I don’t want you to think I didn’t give you a chance. But also, i am not a good partner. I walk up and down in my own mind but I haven’t found an exit. I know you are patient. Probably nothing comes out of this but you give me hope that I could be happy and it’s sort of intoxicating. I went to gym today and did core and more. I expected a half hour of lying on the mat and crunching my abs but the “more” part exhausted me and I once more faced off with “burpees” which really annoy me. Speaking of annoying, I’ve an annoying habit of OCD and I was in T’s office talking to him and then abruptly I went “can I please come into your office tomorrow and unwind your phone cord”. He probably thought I have finally come unglued… what can I say, once my husband described me that I’m like a heroine in a good romance novel in which the heroine is moody, passionate, unstable and probably on tranqs and she still makes a good read. I explained I have OCD and he calmly unwound the phone cord and told me now you can get a good night’s sleep.. haha I’m thinking I need to do my passport as some days I wake up with an urge to pack a light suitcase and go and visit Iceland or Norway or one of those Scandinavian countries and look at the northern lights and enjoy the dance show.
i prefer cats, books, musique and coffee to the company of humans... philosopher, molecular biologist, feminist ; love to read a lot, love to dance ballet & salsa ; francophile; seventh-day adventist; love the Lord for He is my friend and El Shaddai ! writing is my catharsis, it's a way to find myself, it's a way to teach myself to be brave; trying to put back the pieces of my life together with God's help and trying to heal; most of all trying to listen to His still small voice, learning to remember thus saith the Lord & trying to find out what my purpose is & where He is leading me ! No matter where I may end up, I know He still has me in the palms of His hands (Isaiah 49:16). Above all else, God comes first.