I don’t want to write this, this year. It’s been very tired one. A lighter one. The last few felt heavier. I kept my secrets up my sleeves.. I am exhausted. Last week took my breath away. Asthma, on the brink of panic attack, periods, exhaustion and now I am going through withdrawal from starchy foods as I switched to complex carbs. But this week is also a satisfying one. I was pushed to my limits and beyond and I won; I am enjoying this aftermath of power. Switching gears. I gave out my email, because I don’t want you to think I didn’t give you a chance. But also, i am not a good partner. I walk up and down in my own mind but I haven’t found an exit. I know you are patient. Probably nothing comes out of this but you give me hope that I could be happy and it’s sort of intoxicating. I went to gym today and did core and more. I expected a half hour of lying on the mat and crunching my abs but the “more” part exhausted me and I once more faced off with “burpees” which really annoy me. Speaking of annoying, I’ve an annoying habit of OCD and I was in T’s office talking to him and then abruptly I went “can I please come into your office tomorrow and unwind your phone cord”. He probably thought I have finally come unglued… what can I say, once my husband described me that I’m like a heroine in a good romance novel in which the heroine is moody, passionate, unstable and probably on tranqs and she still makes a good read. I explained I have OCD and he calmly unwound the phone cord and told me now you can get a good night’s sleep.. haha I’m thinking I need to do my passport as some days I wake up with an urge to pack a light suitcase and go and visit Iceland or Norway or one of those Scandinavian countries and look at the northern lights and enjoy the dance show.

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