waiting

First a shout out to God for being a patient and understanding God who delights in providing the best for all His children.  I would like to dedicate this blog to all strong and intelligent women out there like me, and all the women who molded my personality like my mum, and so many others who know their worth, who in spite of circumstances wouldn’t bow down or wouldn’t give in or cry to find favors or lift their skirts to flash their knickers; who fight like a girl and who make their presence known and who put their foot down and demand respect and who wouldn’t hesitate to kick somebody in their balls and put them in their place firmly and at the same time are sweet to their loved ones and soft to their lovers. Here’s to all feminists and feminism rocks !

My life in the past few years was very traumatic and I am forever grateful to God for giving me hope and keeping me steady with His right hand and for building me up. There was a lot of growing up, lots of analysis and lots of chats with God, and oh yes, a lot more fights with Him and more frustrations with Him as He kept saying “wait”.

I was reading someone’s devotional about Ruth and it struck a chord in me. Ruth has said all the right things and was faithful to God and her mother-in-law Naomi in many ways, but especially so where Boaz is concerned. Ruth has truly put herself out there in pure trust, and it seems everything has been leading up to this moment.

And like for her, it came as a surprise to me when God kept telling me to wait and wait and not for a day or a week or a month but indefinitely…. !! (Indefinite waiting is the worst kind of waiting, if you ask me and I had a difficult time in keeping calm and not pull at my hair.)

Not sure if Ruth was frustrated or not but I was. I was frustrated and there was a point when I was like “f@$k this and let me go do my own thing ! But God kept me going and sent messages saying Wait, my daughter, until you learn how the matter turns out” (Ruth 3:18).

Wait, and then wait again. Isn’t this the way of life ? Nowhere are we promised an easy life just because we obey, but He promises that He will walk with us through our problems. And our Father waits too—both with us and for us. His Word says that He longs to be gracious toward us and show us compassion and mercy (Isaiah 30:18). “His steadfast love endures forever,” (Psalm 118) through all things, all the time, just like the psalm says.

This doesn’t mean that things will turn out exactly how we wanted they should. But it does mean that God’s hand is always at work in our story even when we can’t see it.

God has been merciful to me and even while I was waiting, God went ahead of me and made a path for me. There were times when I considered compromising (Sabbath issue was the major one – where almost every job interview ended with no deal on leaving early on Friday and me saying, sorry there is no point in interviewing anymore) and then me walking out. And Paula kept telling me that she would help me out, but I have dug my heels in to the ground and I am wrestling with God that I have been faithful to Him and so He should come through and take care of me

And here’s is the good news. I don’t know about you, but I serve a mighty God and He let me know that I am still His daughter, and His covenant promise is still true ! and I know that even if He didn’t come through, I still would have been His daughter and His covenant promise to me would still have been true.

Recently I went for an interview with a fortune 100 company (big big company) and the moment this lady (she is the executive I am working with) walks in she introduces herself to me and looking at my resume she says “I want you to take some accounting classes in the evening so you can go places as I can see you are intelligent and this corporation has lots of opportunities”, I just wanted to jump up and scream “come into my arms and let me kiss you”. I work very well with strong women who can tell off people and work hard to achieve the top positions. Awesome woman and awesome job and awesome company and of course, Awesome God ! He lifted me up and placed me on top where I have my own executive dining room, executive IT people to cater to me and I have a corporate jet at my disposal (if people above me are not using it) if I needed to travel for work within US.

I have been quite delirious lately as things I have wanted to do, God made possible. For the non profit org sake I thought I would work in finance world and I am now in the corporate finance area and I can’t stop smiling the way my God arranged the pieces for me so I would be where I should be.

Anyway, if you are waiting, in your waiting place, cling to the hope that God will not leave our stories unfinished or unredeemed. Keep remembering that our story is God’s story and may be they may not turn out how we expected, but remember my story and your story is His story. Have faith and wait with obedience. Wait with hope and trust and obey with confidence that He is also waiting with you and we can always count on Him. Also wait with gratitude. Paul writes “Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving” Colossians 4:2

“It is the duty of every one to cultivate cheerfulness instead of brooding over sorrow and troubles. Many not only make themselves wretched in this way, but they sacrifice health and happiness to a morbid imagination..While grief and anxiety cannot remedy a single evil, they can do great harm; but cheerfulness and hope, while they brighten the pathway of others, “are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh” (Proverbs 4:22). (Mrs. White – Health and Happiness, 5.29)

“I have set the Lord always before me: because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.” Psalm 16: 8

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