On ne découvre pas de terre nouvelle sans consentir à perdre de vue, d’abord et longtemps, tout rivage..( One doesn’t discover new lands without first consenting to lose sight, for a long time, of the shore.) – Andre Gide (French Novelist)

So I finally decided to file the 501( c )( 3 ) papers to start a  non profit as the time is passing me by and I thought if I wait till I settle down and till every thing is hunky dory (what is hunky dory anyway), I will never get this project started. So I got the papers ready and I jotted off the emails to JC’s friends and asked them to meet with me ASAP or after the Christmas season (as some of them are in UK and France) so we can work on the details. I am planning out the business model and of course, I have Paula to help me with this and I am thrilled that finally I am moving, nay crawling forward, but I am moving nevertheless. I am determined to start this come 2017 and these scientists are dedicated to my husband, so I am sure they will make themselves available to me. The reason was my former boss Paula, with whom I’m working on her reconciliations and she said I need to start right now and that she would help me.  I explained elsewhere that we are very good pair work-wise and I know I just have to say yes to her and she would launch another company in Philly but for now, I think we should wait on that. I have plans and she is eager to help me but I think I need to prove myself that I can make it with the help of the Lord.  I am actually happy that I am honoring my husband by taking a step towards fulfilling his dream. I also have started a garden this year at my house, in his memory which cost me $10K already and while the money was not a problem, the design was and I wasn’t happy with what was done and now I am planning to get someone else to improve on it come Spring.

While I am on the domestic side of things, I’ve decided I am completely useless in taking care of my things like laundry, shopping and now a days I have absolutely no time left as I go home from work, feed my kids aka cats, run off either to gym to work out or to ballet and somedays I do both. I asked my maid if she would transition into my housekeeper and take care of my house for me and she said she will try and poor thing she did but she is not cut out for that job I think. So I need to find a housekeeper pronto.

I had to let go of another job because of Sabbath and I am not unhappy though. I still have a few jobs to consider and the companies I am interested are still in play.

I am putting way too many hours at the gym and my ankle got a bit sore for whatever reason and now I am worried that I may not be able to do my ballet “nutcracker” and so far my teacher hasn’t figured it out and I was in pain where I was releving (lifting myself on my tiptoes). Well keeping my fingers and toesies crossed while munching on advil.

Goodnews girl got me some nice berry crisp yesterday and I told her that I wasn’t in, so when I got in this morning, she said in an email she had that in one of the refrigerators and she gave me directions to the fridge which made me LOL and I wrote back to her that I want gps coordinates.

I saw the cutest boy today and yours truly was all wet as she doesn’t believe in umbrellas and it was pouring and I cursed silently at myself for looking like a wet dog and it is no way to impress a boy but the boy actually talked to me and said “you should get an umbrella” and I wanted to say “what book are you currently reading” but I just smiled and walked away. I usually tend to treat men like garbage till I am almost in love with them and I found out this best works 🙂 I am keeping my fingers crossed to bump into him tomorrow but alas, the forecast is RAIN ! and no I won’t be doing umbrella in any event.

And this happened at work today. A rare and antique book arrived and I get to open it and I was almost jumping with joy. It’s a pictorial Bible and it has magnificent pictures whose colors are still alive and vibrant and they were dancing and shimmering and I was in awe and speechless. I love these little moments of beauty and though I detest people cutting down trees to make paper, these books justify that. And then there are a few people who write about their lives… and I want to take hold of them and shake them and say “your life is not that interesting. Stop chopping down the trees. Go find a computer and blog or something”… Honestly some people are just a humongous waste of skin and space depleting valuable O2.

My current boss is really nice and he likes to avoid conflicts at all costs. I am the opposite. I don’t like conflicts and confrontation either, but one wrong move with me, I’ll very happily chop the head off and feed it to the offender. I feel my boss is sometimes way too nice but I also know that he has this steeliness(?) inside of him but he has lots of patience which I don’t possess. I am a lot more abrasive and I tend to give my very wicked thumb-tack sharp tongue lash as I don’t give a f#$k who it is as long as I am in the right.

I just saw that on my personal skype someone wanted to be friends and I did add that person and now I am waiting to see if that person is something along the lines of porno or some such nonsense. Also I have absolutely no idea why on tumblr all the porn blogs follow me. I am quite popular on tumblr for various reasons like my poetry and cat reblogs, etc. and the etiquette on tumblr is, if someone follows you, you follow them back and I can’t do that with these sites as it’s NSFW content and also because porn honestly doesn’t thrill me and in fact it bores me to tears and I actually tend to comment like he or she is overdoing it or they are bad actors, and sometimes I get giggle fits as well.

I like rainy days tbh as I would like to stroll around the town and seeing people hunched and hurrying…. Washed roads and cleansed city. It kind of reminds me that in another life, there were hundreds at my funeral a lot more if we counted weeping willows and the rain. Who even remembers how we get the scars but always you are the scar I don’t remember getting.

So anyway I am currently reading about neuroplasticity and eating zucchini crisps and it’s now 1 a.m. and this is what I call growth. I’m in for a wild Winter obviously…. Well good night blog !