Hello me lovelies ! What I mean by that is, as a business person, I am struggling with the prospect of being a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond…. Why can’t I be a big fish in a big pond? Standing on the shore of decision, looking into the face of adventure, with a desire to abandon all I know and I just wanna do eenie, meenie, mineey mo. I always find myself at the cross section of somewhere between misunderstanding and knowing; knowing that what I want to understand, is not in my reach, so I ponder my escape. Not knowing what lies ahead, and an adventure and an adventure at least in theory is full of excitement, and bleeds with passion for life.
My colleague’ newsletter came out today and it made me smile. [“On the banks of the Schuylkill River, just upstream from Boathouse Row, stand four statues representing our country’s early settlers. Each has an inscription capturing a profession’s role in forming our new republic. Under the laborer, it says, “He wrought miracles.” Under the poet, “He shaped our dreams.” The scientist notes, “He weighed the stars.” And on the preacher, the artist suggests, “He guided our ways.”] Credit JM…. Here’s the link to Philly’s beautiful artwork.. http://www.associationforpublicart.org/explore/public-art/#gallery/all/ While reading it I felt a warmth like a warmth I bring up to my face when I hold my first cup of coffee of the morning;
I am watching the elections with Jack; I am a conservative and a business person and so I naturally am for Trump and I still think that he is a sexist and egotistical person, but after all he is a man, and he is a successful man and his arrogance to me is justified as I am equally arrogant because I know what I know and what skills I possess. I am a capitalist and if anyone has read The Fountainhead would understand me, because I am Howard Roark. I think if you can justify your arrogance, by all means, be arrogant but as Paula (my ex-boss) says, leave human beings their minimum dignity and respect.
This evening Jack and I went to Jamaican restaurant to pick up food for our election watch party (it’s more like him bitching and me supporting Trump) and when I parked the car in front of a self serve laundromat, I saw three homeless people lounging inside for warmth and Jack and I decided we will buy them food and they were very appreciative. I need to find some blankets for them tomorrow. I mean, my cats have blankets, you know what I mean. I bought blankets for my cats to sleep on and my cats don’t sleep on old or worn used blankets… these men are human beings and I felt bad that they are sleeping on the cold floor with nothing on ! I have so many blankets which I can give them and no, I am not giving my cats’, for one, they will pout…
It’s a small thing, but it means a lot; just these little types of things. the stuff that reminds us we’re heavy enough to make an impact even when we feel a little too small for this world.
Someone asked me if I were sweet on a boy…. Ummm, may be but I think that ship has sailed and I cut him loose. But most of the times, I turn people into poetry because as a human being we need to feel like being curled up next to a lover who reciprocates the feeling or just to be understood at least tonight.
I tend to do that because most of the time, I am alonesome and since the time I lost the boys I loved dearly, I feel as though I carry double my weight and often feel like Atlas but I refuse to put it down or rest because I am strong by God’s grace… It’s all worth it at the end of the day, this feeling that I don’t succumb to my fears or give in and be a crybaby. And that feeling is priceless… It’s like light pulling I feel as i run my hand through my hair at the end of an especially long day. And that sigh and exaggerated orgasmic pleasure moans as I get into bed at night as I stretch my muscles like a cat into tomorrow. It’s like watching the rain drops race one another on your car window as I drive on a highway and only to punctuate the patter of rainfall on the roof of the car with breathy kisses and playful laughs. waking up to the sunrise out by your window and drifting back into dreams.
I’m dead tired but still prospering and I’m heavy hearted but still shining. Bonne Nuit Blog I go celebrate Trump’s victory !