I saw your photo again yesterday unintentionally. I locked you away in a secret folder of my computer and I thought I threw the key away. But there you are ! All smiles and I remember the day I took that photo of you. I miss you, my Angel ! I miss our long days. I still remember the smell of your skin after long nights in bed, and it would be six in the morning, the deep blue light barely pouring in past the window shades creating streaks across your back and arms. I still have those blinds in my room. I watch them lying awake and wishing for those days. I remember your little touches, and your nibbles on my back, your laugh when I whimper for you. I remember your voice, deep and kind telling me there was no relationship quite like ours. I remember feeling you on me, around me, in me. I remember that distant summer, your home, thousands of miles from mine. I remember our return, I thought it would be so surreal. I remember that last night, we both were together. I remember how happy we were. The next day, I remember wishing it wasn’t real. I remember driving aimlessly home from the hospital; I remember the long walks I took on the roads we walked, the leaves were no longer the orange and red freshly fallen leaves of fall, but the rotten, wet mess of the incoming winter. I remember I almost slipped on them. I remember the end of me. I still remember who you were. I still remember who I was. I still remember who we were. I wish I could forget me.

#julien

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