So today was just a series of acts, like I’m in a theatrical play.
Act 1: Day started foggy, weather was gray and I was in a fog and I feel soft and I’m actually tired and had the Monday blues on a Tuesday and funnily enough on Monday I was full of vitality till something happened and heavens came crashing down on my head. I am not sure why I even believe that it is possible for me to be happy as I don’t think I’m meant to. Things or people or places which make me happy have this annoying habit of disappearing and stop existing once I realize how much they mean to me and how much they bring me happiness. To top it off this guy annoyed me so much telling me how tired I look & that I should take some time off & while I wanted to say “f@#$ off”, I acted and I politely said some thing to get him off my back and tbh I should get an Oscar. Why won’t he just let me wallow ? There’s nothing more annoying than dealing with someone faking that they care.
On a related note, what amuses me most is when people underestimate my intelligence and think that they are besting me somehow. And I’m like, ok, I’ll play your game and I’ll let you go as far as you want to go and then I’ll probably squish you like a bug or I’ll hand you enough rope for you to go and hang yourself. But most of the time I don’t need to do anything as people are emotional and they act according to their emotions and then they self-destruct. I just wait very patiently like a vulture. Apparently vultures are very patient birds. I could be very intense and very passionate (in the bedroom) but when it comes to professional life, I have learnt to be emotionless in my dealings with people, work (oh yes, I at times wanted to strangle people but I won’t let that show unless I’m PMSing and even then it takes a lot more than hormones)
Act 2: I have gone out with a bunch of people from work today for dinner as my nerd friends I have elaborate coffee ceremonies with at work have invited me and some other people, and so we have all gone to a restaurant and it has nothing vegetarian on the menu. After studying the menu like 45 mins I gave up and ate some salad, tasty spinach & tomato soup which was made with chicken broth and some risotto which suspiciously tasted fishy. While we were eating, my colleagues started analyzing their food; they ordered calamari, mussels and whatnots and then started discussing the tentacles and their texture and I was going ewww in my mind and was growing nauseous by the second and then another lady jumped in and started discussing beef tongue and that was my limit; I am like guys, could you please not analyze your food as I am having enough hard time eating things made with chicken broth and smelling your foods and booze…. such are the plights of a vegetarian.
The cook at my workplace cafe keeps telling me that they need to get some health food so I can come visit him. I sometimes go there when I get this urge to eat chips (french fries) and I love them passionately but alas, they cook them in the same fryer with other stuff like meat and fish and ugh… ! I keep telling them that they need to bring avocados and make me quesadillas.
And then we ordered dessert and Vincent ordered orange sorbet and the restaurant thought it would great if they actually hollow out an oranges and put the sorbet in it and freeze it and it was frozen solid like an ice cube and it resulted in being comical and we are all shrieking hysterically with laughter as he was trying to scratch the sorbet in the hopes of eating it and apparently it tasted like water ice rather than a respectable sorbet and I was about to get him some tools which are used to make ice sculptures…
And all this time two others and I were freezing as we were seated right under two vents and I was trying to wrap myself with a napkin.
Act 3: I get home and I find out that Anubis, my boy cat, who sneaks out whenever the garage door opens has indeed snuck out in the morning and I wasn’t aware of it. He doesn’t go very far, he just stays in the bushes and go figure. I have bushes on this side of the fence as well but he and some other boys prefer the bushes on the other side of the fence. So when I got home I looked and searched for him and then went out into my yard looking for him and found him and he decided he would pout as I have left him out the whole day and hide in the bushes and I actually crawl on the hands and feet to get inside the shrubs and drag him out and now he is following me around like a little puppy.
Afterwards I went to FedEx 24 hours as my order of lipsticks came in but they won’t deliver because they are from Gucci and when I went to pickup my package I went “Gucci are bastards” and the fedex clerk laughed and said “it sounds so classy when you say it with your accent”… I’m getting ready to this event in October where very prominent Philadelphians are gonna be there and I’m gonna look pretty and network and I especially wanna meet the Philadelphia Orchestra people and score some discounts for symphonies !
Jack texted me telling me that we should both go running on Sunday morning around 5 a.m. or 6 a.m. and I’m now taking bets on that event actually happening. I am betting on me that I won’t be going.
Act 4: I’m sitting here alone, like always, wearing nothing but a t-shirt which is too big and fell to my thighs (it was my boy’s) and I’m holding a cup of coffee which is warming up my hands and I’m drinking it and listening to some very old songs my father used to listen to and I’m trying to not rake up the ancient memories or scars and I know this too shall pass as these lows don’t last forever. This period of utter loneliness and isolation lasts very short period of time thankfully and I do try with everything in my power to excise the memories which cause any pain. I’ve lived through seas of heartbreak and I wouldn’t take any of it back because at every shore I found another reason to let someone lead me into the waves with my eyes closed and my heart open. I’m not unique in this and I am probably the 7 billionth person to lay awake at this very minute thinking along these lines and I am thinking how to turn you into a poem. And tomorrow I’ll do what I want to do.