marigold

My heart is full, y’all !! Today was a treasure which I’ll keep locked up in my fragile glass bones.

As a reply to my query, my boss sent an email and just added a little note underneath.. “how are you ?” They may be the simplest three words and often used by people without meaning much and like saying hello absently and out of routine, but these three words meant a lot more than that coming from him as he doesn’t do routines and they weighed a ton and a half with his care and concern and they felt like a warm hug from my mum or my cats and I almost got flattened under the massive care of these words… 🙂 I’m thankful to him and there are very few people who I respect and he quickly made the list.

My sweet little friend at work surprised me yet again by sending me this post card (which I posted) via email and added a note saying: “when I saw this I remembered what you said about your mother and I want to send it to you as a token of my remembrance. I think you are awesome and I love you”

The other day I was telling her how my mother loved marigolds and that our garden in India was always full of roses and marigolds and hibiscuses as my mother loved gardening and she was so excited and happy as when she and my dad visited Nepal, they were greeted at the airport with garlands of marigolds and she was thrilled to bits and talked excitedly for over weeks about this… the thing which I will remember and never forget was my mother’s laughter and singing over the boiling tea for an afternoon snack…

India in summer smells of marigolds and smells of sweet mangoes and coconut oil and dry heat and parched land and the smell of hope of the onset of monsoons…

I’m never sure what I did when people like these make me fall in love with them with these little gestures and very simply and without asking much in return; they make me smile and make me trust again and make me want to just tear my heart out and offer it to them as a token of my appreciation.

Life is not always so simple and beautiful and comfortable and there are dark moments a lot more times than lovely moments; I think I just found myself a warm place between people I love and my love for words; and I dig myself a burrow in all these precious things which won’t hurt me and leave me bleeding and half dead because I’ve learnt that this world knocks you down & punches you in your stomach and it is up to you to either ignore the bleeding bruises, and scrapes on your knees and swing back up and on to your feet and while ignoring the bleeding nose and cut lips, you smile brightly and say “f#$k it all” and walk away with a purpose. I never hesitate to say “F…. You !” if needed.

I’m not naive and I remember also that sometimes the kindest people I care for are the most f#&ed over and most often and that’s the awful truth but we’re looking for a reason to hang around and that with each other, this place can be kind to us and can even be beautiful and may even mirage over the things that hurt you. Without the magic of mirage this world can be all sorts of lonely place but it also sometimes allows you to love.

I hoard memories and I love how they feel on my brain when I roll them out to inspect and taste them again and again… I think I’m falling in love with the idea of being in the middle of something so powerful and moving. I want to explore this city again and find the sweetest lil poetry clubs and I want to find some nice jazz clubs and I’m just excited to see how this chapter unfolds and unearths and I’m just waiting to see if I’d find someone to unearth this chapter with me. I’m just keeping my eyes open. Something wonderful is going to happen. I know it.

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