I think the real horror of life is not being able to read while I eat. I have done this so many times and I still do this whenever I can; bulky books are bothersome but I try and bend the bone of the book so it would stay flat. I never have been able to get accustomed to kindle or one of those electronic readers. If anyone gives me that as a gift, I’ll never speak to you again. I love books. The smell of them, the marvel of them, the way they feel when you hold them; they are cumbersome but idc, I want them in my hand. I don’t care for audio books either. It’s somebody else’s interpretation of a book.

I’m very picky as well what books I read. I read a lot but I read for pleasure you know. I don’t like to read those so called soft porn books. Even as a young adult I refused to read those romance novels. All the girls of my age were reading mills & boons, and I was the only one reading “the hunchback of notre dame” and “the fountainhead”. I know how to create romance. I don’t need somebody else’s version of what a man should be or what a woman should be. When the 50 shades of gray came out, so many people messaged me to find out if I read that and if I liked that book. (I had at one point 20,000 followers on tumblr and I got very nervous about those many as I thought I wouldn’t be able to live up to their expectations and I deactivated that account) I didn’t read that book and I never will and I am very stubborn and opinionated and even if somebody puts a gun to my head, I would happily die than read that crap. I actually had to put out a public announcement why I would never read that book and if I ever find that note I will post it here. And I read really really saucy novels like Lady Chatterley’s lover, Madame Bovary, Tropic of Cancer, etc. but these are classy and classic and one would surely learn something.

I think books are very kind and gentle and touch our souls like the soft petals. They help in intellectual stimulation. And bloom our imagination. When we read books we contemplate and we construct our own ideas and deconstruct the plot, the characters and understand the meaning. We empathize with the characters, we grow with them, we struggle with them. I get lost in books. I love to get wrapped up in the printed words as they nurture you like a mother and teach you. Whenever I feel lonely or disconnected from life, I read a book and I get resurrected.

Whenever I remember that an author or a character had died, I grow sad.

Today turned out to be gorgeous day in spite of the humidity. I got home and went to gym and while running on the treadmill I was telling this girl next to me how I would like to meet a man (she was telling me I should go on match.com to which I said not in this lifetime) who would have my kids (cats) paw prints on the bottom of his shoes like Michael Phelps did with his son’s foot print and she almost fell off the treadmill laughing hysterically. And I was like, but I am serious…:)

I also have realized today that I have a nickname for almost everyone at the gym; like giggles (obvious as he walks around giggling to himself), blue boy (he always, always wears a blue t-shirt), Klondike twins (don’t ask), peacock (this guy thinks he’s god’s gift to women; he struts around like a peacock and I don’t think he is all that and I feel sorry for the girl he is currently dating), mullet girl (she is still living in 80s & I often feel like giving her a lecture about that and point her to a salon) to name a few…. I realized this because Sandalwood boy was in the same car on the train as I was but he couldn’t sit next to me as a carbolic soap was sitting next to me. We smiled hello at each other tho.

While on the train I started listing things I’m grateful for; and here’s an incomplete list of everything and everyone i’m grateful for:

My cats/ smell of coffee/ coffee with cream and sugar/ hot showers/ browsing books/ everything Agatha Christie has ever written/ soft clothes/ kissing/ new books/ summer nights/ winter moons/ dancing on tables / being reckless / anais nin / driving with the windows down while blasting my favorite music / the ability to write / feeling strong / my bed / coming home from a long day at work / coco / pancakes on a sunday morning / visiting art museums / “when someone beats you with a flashlight you make light shine in all directions” by jenny holzer / Pascal Obispo / being able to learn new things every day / my flirt shirt / the smell of rain / talking for hours and hours / genuine conversation / feminism / the smell of lavender / Max Brenner / eating soy chocolate ice cream out of the container / my ballet teacher / my friend jack/ my trainer / my parents / the boys I loved very much / the boy who likes blue walls & who taught me to dream again just a little….

My heart is so full right now and I can’t even begin to explain how it feels to have this list of people and things I admire. I think that I am learning, now more than ever, that I have nothing to do but grow grow grow and every little bit of encouragement is helping me do just that.

So, thank you.

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